


albatross

by naglisnatalie



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Spoilers for Yoosung's route, v has issues and i feel bad please give him a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8141131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naglisnatalie/pseuds/naglisnatalie
Summary: (a seemingly inescapable moral or emotional burden, as of guilt or responsibility.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> another short narration thing, this time with poor V. ;;;;;  
> spoilers for yoosung's route. I also took some liberties outside of the VNM that's portrayed here.
> 
> enjoy!!!

"I hate you."

V let the words slap him square across the face. Now that he was here in person and he wasn't just reading the cutting words off his screen, they seemed to dig even deeper than they usually did.

He was tired from rushing back. He watched Yoosung's figure behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses, even as he set down his cane. His house wasn't that well lit. Had he just been sitting here in the dark all alone? That really shouldn't have been the case. Yoosung was going to get all sorts of problems in the future if he kept this up. Then again, it was all because of him, wasn't it? How could he ever fix this mess?

"I really hate you, you know that?"

Yoosung was rubbing his own arms, avoiding the older man's tender gaze. V could hear the way their breaths both shook and his own heartbeat thrummed like a motor in his ribcage. He squinted through the haze encasing his vision, frustrated. The younger boy's words hung in the silence.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

At that moment, V knew he must have sounded like the world's biggest hypocrite. He had played out the first scenario in his head--he apologized, Yoosung forgave him. He preferred that to scenario two--where he apologized and Yoosung exploded.

But V also knew he shouldn't have wasted his time considering possibilities. He knew how Yoosung was.

"If you were really sorry, you'd have told us something!" Yoosung raised his voice, standing somewhere in the dim light.

"I know. I should have." _I couldn't._

"How could you just disappear like that? You made Rika sick, and now you want to take her away too. I hate you!" Yoosung's voice shook with the ache of two long, lonely years. He was still young. V had endured much worse and lived. But now wasn't the time to play the Suffering Game. He had come with a mission to heal.

"I really am sorry. I...wanted to stop it." he replied quietly. "I would have done anything."

Yoosung's mouth twitches into the word _you_ again.

"You're a liar," he finally muttered.

"I'm sorry," V said, hating how much he sounded like a broken record. Yoosung was staring right at him as he removed his sunglasses--he could feel the boy's stare bore deep into his soul. Slowly, he put the glasses on Yoosung's dining table.

"She's only been here for a while, but...she's trying to help more than you. She's helped more than you ever have." Yoosung said, words dripping with despise. V stepped towards his voice. Make it right. Make it right.

"Let go..." Yoosung whimpered as V's arms wrapped around him, pressing his head into his shoulder. The younger boy felt warm, burning with so much hate and sorrow.

"I'm so sorry." _I can't make it better,_ he thought, as Yoosung struggled against his grasp.

"It's your fault," he whispered, his fists hard on V's shoulder.

"It's my fault."

"It's all your fault!"

V felt the wet warmth on his shirt and held the boy closer. He hadn't hugged anyone for a long time. He hadn't felt anyone this close in ages. Part of him wished Yoosung would stop trying to push free and the other part wanted him to push V so hard he fell out the window and ended this. _No, this is for Yoosung. He needs this. It's what I can do._

"It's all my fault."

"You should have done something!"

He was tired. He kept holding him. It was more for himself now. Eventually Yoosung's reminders and threats faded into heavy, pained sobs, his hands clutching fistfuls of V's jacket. V slowly rubbed circles into his back and waited for the crying to cease, standing there in Yoosung's empty, silent apartment. _Was this worth it,_ he wondered. He could tell him everything, right here, right now, about Rika. Free this burden locked behind his chest, waiting to be released. Expose her.

He couldn't. He was a coward.

Who was to say Yoosung would believe a thing he said now? How could he say anything and make it make sense? Yoosung had held Rika in the apple of his large, lavender eyes. He'd kept this much from him already. He had to finish the job.

"V...What happened to your eyes?"

This had not been something he was prepared for.

V released, backing away quickly, leaving a teary-eyed and confused Yoosung. "V?"

Damn. He shouldn't have taken them off. _Stupid. Stupid._ "Nothing, Yoosung. I need to leave--"

"HEY!"

Yoosung's outburst sent V's heart racing. He looked towards the sound, blinking as Yoosung's figure shifted and shimmered before him.

"You said you're sorry, right?" Yoosung dragged his forearm across his eyes in one furious motion. Ugly red rimmed his eyes. "Then tell the truth! Don't run away from us again!"

_How ironic. You've been running away from your own problems too, you know._ V swallowed the words and wondered where all the acid inside of him was coming from.

"I...can't."

"Why!?" Yoosung's voice rose to unbelievable pitches. "Why are you like this? Why don't you tell anyone anything? Why doesn't anyone tell me anything about Rika, or why Seven's always hiding stuff, or why I'm not popular anymore, or my future!?"

V could see how red his face was with rage albeit the fuzziness tugging on every corner of his vision. He bit his lip. Moved his hand over his sunglasses.

"Yoosung. I'm going blind."

Yoosung froze, his mouth hanging open, his words dying on his lips.

"What?"

V closed his eyes. "I can only see a bit through my left eye. That's why I have this cane...and the sunglasses."

"But...how--"

"That's not important." V said, every ounce of him screaming in protest. "I have to go. Please don't tell this to the others."

He turned and walked out as quickly as he came, silently thankful that he did not collide with anything else. The last thing he needed was more pity. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone except Jumin. Something else he'd messed up.

The sick feeling in his stomach didn't let up even as he made his way down the stairs.


End file.
